Yesterday was one of those truly awful days as a teacher, one of those days that made me question my desire to one day have children. My 5th grade class behaved like little monsters (and I'm using monster in the literal sense here) for a solid 45 minutes. And then during my 10th grade class (a new class that I picked up this year), I had to chase down two boys--both a foot taller than I am--who were trying to skip English. By the end of the ordeal, I had managed to disillusion them from their belief that the young American teacher was a pushover, but the effort left me wiped out.
I've learned quite a few things about being a teacher over the past year, but the thing that has struck me most is how truly exhausting it is. If you care about doing it well, you wear yourself out. Not only do you have to worry about planning and teaching effective lessons, but you also have to deal with behavior problems, grades, and a myriad of other challenges that arise during the course of each day. I really am starting to understand why so many teachers give into the temptation of doing a mediocre job, performing the bare minimum and going home at the end of the day without giving another thought to their students.
The truth of the matter, though, is that teaching isn't a 9-5 job. And if you take it seriously, you feel the full weight of responsibility on your shoulders. In a country where so many children are essentially parent-less, having one or both parents working abroad, a teacher's responsibility is painfully clear. Whether we like it or not, we are filling in as caregivers and role models.
A fellow PCV here in Moldova recently told me that one of her 6th grade students tried to commit suicide. Both of the girl's parents are abroad, and she is basically on her own. When I heard that story, I was immediately sobered by the fact that that girl easily could have been one of my own students.
I know just how easy it is to focus all of my energy on teaching the right nouns and verbs, yelling at kids when they act up, and filling in grades in the catalogue. And I'll admit that some days that's all I can manage. But more often than not, I need to strive for a higher standard. My hope is that, in doing so, I'll succeed in being more than just a teacher in name...because I certainly didn't come here to do the bare minimum.
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3 comments:
Hang in there, Katie! It's one of the most challenging and rewarding thing about being a teacher: you get to speak into your students' lives, and amazingly some even listen!
I had that kind of day today; my third graders refused to settle down until I shouted at them, then threw temper tantrums when I wrote in their gradebooks that they did not behave well. I had to meet with the school psychologist, their classroom teacher, and the school director about it (all in Russian, of course)...
...and then I came home to gallons of water pouring out of the ceiling in both my toilet room and the bathroom. We mopped up about 8 gallons before the landlord managed to contact the building owner, who shut off the water because people 3 floors down were also complaining! (Of course this also involved talking to 2 neighbors and having 7 phone conversations with landlords and plumbers and such - all in Russian again.)
Fortunately most days are NOT like this one, and work more like yesterday, when I had to peel loving students off my body to be able to go home. ;-)
*sigh* I can only imagine what it must be like for you
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